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Earth Tones Earth-toned shadows and coordinating lipstick are always a good choice, especially if your black dress is being worn to a more understated function
In this case, they may have a super specific attire rules to ensure she stands out such as flipping tradition and having attendees wear white (see: Christines famous wedding from Selling Sunset !)
Its popularity soared in the 1960s when fashion icon Audrey Hepburn wore a Givenchy LBD in the movie Breakfast at Tiffanys
On the last point, no they are usually permissable, but I have been told by some people that they didnt feel so comfortable in it when everyone else was in straight black tie or that more open events encouraged them to explore it I think I fall in the latter category, classic black tie for a few select events where there is a fairly even spread of men and women
